Million Dollar Babies

There's One Born Every Minute

“I voted Republican this year; the Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth.” – Monica Lewinsky

“Most guys who don’t like me are either Democrats or Yankee fans.” – Curt Schillling

“A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn’t own.” – Frank Dane

“The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Modern Democrats — or, more properly, Socialist Jackasses — pretend to be the conscience of the nation; the stalwart defenders of the rights, real and imagined, of everything and everybody except unborn babies and conservative Republicans.   In reality, they’re petty tyrants, dedicated to the “fundamental transformation” of the free enterprise system, and to the proposition that all peasants are created to toil equally in the service of the grand and glorious State which Democrats will, of course, administer.

But for most of the Jackasses, the political is not only personal, it’s profitable:

Of the 10 richest House districts, only two have Republican congressmen. Democrats claim the top six, sprinkled along the East and West coasts. Most are in overwhelmingly Democratic states such as New York and California.

The Reason WhyIn the Senate, we have Dems like John Kerry, who made his money the old fashioned way — he proposed to it — and Dirty Harry Reid, a lifelong politician who garnered millions by staying as far away from honest labor as he could possibly get.  

Dirty HarryThere’s the former community organizer unaccountably promoted to the office of Commander-In-Chief; a piker, perhaps, when compared to his fellow well-to-do Jackasses, but able nonetheless to dispose of millions of taxpayer dollars on a myriad of family vacations that seemingly occur with the regularity of weekends.

Then we have Democrats like Whining Jim Moran of Virginia. Whining Jim, at 174 grand per annum, believes he’s grossly underpaid.  Maybe so.  But since he’s been in office for 23 years, and his only reported asset is a modest money market account, he’s either the only honest man in Congress or its most incompetent thief.  Moran believes that he and his felonious colleagues are members of the board of directors of the “largest economic entity in the world” and should be paid accordingly. But, as Rick Moran (no relation) points out,

“Those bozos can’t even run the congressional gym and Moran has delusions about controlling a $13 trillion economy?”

Democrats may have, as Dave Barry famously remarked, the management skills of celery, but there’s no denying that they possess a keen nose for other people’s cabbage.

PTG

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Obama’s Cash Cows

How Now

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.” – H.L. Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

“How do you stop cow farts? Frankly the only way to get rid of cow farts is to get rid of cows. It’s them or us.” – Rush Limbaugh

Because screwing up the economy, the military, foreign policy, energy, and education wasn’t enough for ‘em, Barack Obama and his dutiful Democratic dolts have now declared war on agriculture; or, more precisely, on gassy cattle:

The White House has released a Climate Action Plan that includes the targeting of methane emissions from cows and other barnyard animals that threaten the planet through belching and other, er, activities.

TaxingCowFartsIt’s our lust for cheeseburgers that’s dooming the planet through climate change, the Obama administration said in a Climate Action Plan released Friday that seeks to save us all from ruminant livestock.

Having already blamed the Industrial Revolution for what we used to call weather and temperatures that have flat-lined for 15 years, the White House is now targeting American agriculture abundance by slashing methane emissions from cows by 25% by 2020

Flawed science is now used to bludgeon U.S. agriculture, which helps feed a hungry world. It has been a tenet of green theology that cattle contribute to global warming. But the planet hasn’t warmed since the late 1990s. As we’ve noted, this movement that blames human existence for nonexistent plagues on the planet has no scientific basis. It is a myth motivated by a quest for power by those who think they know what’s best for all of us. And now, as the EPA tries to grab the bull (no pun intended) by the, er, horns, we have this udder nonsense. (Apocalypse Cow — Obama EPA To Regulate Bovine Emissions)

The fact that millions of buffalo once roamed the West without blanketing the Plains with clouds of noxious vapor seems to have either eluded the Harvard brainiacs who toil in the service of socialism and Barack Obama, or — more likely — it’s just another in a long line of false-flag issues with which to conduct their never ending assault on private enterprise. And, since there exists in this universe nothing so inconsequential that a Democrat will regard it as un-taxable, they’ll have plenty of fart tax advocates from the Congressional cesspool and the nation’s progressive punditry.

Something stinks, all right.  And it’s not just Bossy.

PTG

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One Swell Foop

Hope and Change

“The U.S. government has now loaded up the books with so many laws, restrictions, regulations, and mandates, that not only is it impossible for citizens to know them all but it is impossible to live a full day of normal activities without committing at least one or more criminal acts, to the tune of an average of three felonies a day.” – Anthony Martin

“Think of the Democratic Party as what it really is: a criminal organization masquerading as a political party.” – David Kahane

Statistically speaking, if you could remove in one fell swoop all Democratic politicians from the study cited by Anthony Martin, the amount of criminal activity engaged in by the average American on a normal day would probably dip to less than one felony per capita. Now that’s what I call real progressive thinking!

PTG

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If Life Was Fair …

If Life Was Fair

If Life Was Fair …

Al Gore would be selling boiled peanuts on a chilly roadside in Tennessee … Barack Obama would be a towel presser in a Turkish bath houseHarry Reid would be in the Witness Protection Program … Joe Biden would be in the Witless Protection Program … John Kerry would be an aging gigolo aboard a French cruise ship … Sheila Jackson-Lee would be facing charges stemming from misuse of her EBT card … Bill Clinton would be suffering from a variety of antibiotic resistant STDs … Hillary Clinton would be spending her days scolding the help … Rachel Maddow would be an assistant producer on the Ellen Degeneris Show …

Alas, fairness has nothing to do with it these days.  It’s all about how well you can sell the con.  How else could we have elected a man intent on disarming us while he drives us into the poorhouse?We Give  Or a Congress that lets him get away with it?  The latest bone-headed maneuver by the shakiest gun in the West is his proposal to eliminate our cruise missiles:

It makes sense if you assume that destroying American influence and military dominance is the goal of the ideology that Obama follows. Why should he risk having American military power fall into the hands of a Republican?

Obama refuses to waste money on cruise missiles for the Navy, because he thinks that there are other more important things that the Navy ought to be doing.

Increase supports energy efficiency goals directed by the DoD Sustainability Plan to meet a 37.5% decrease in greenhouse gas emission by FY 2020. Initiatives reduce fossil fuel usage by improving energy efficiency and shifting to renewable energy such as biomass, hydropower, geothermal, wind, and solar.

What would the Navy be without solar panels and windmills?

And what would America be without the buffoonish politicians offered us by the Democrats?

Safer, that’s what.

PTG

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The Ol’ Ball Game

Finally-A Hall of Fame RinoWell, I’m off to Florida to try and find out.  Yep, I’m heading for Spring Training, where — unlike Washington — lefties are usually on the ball and you have to earn most of your runs.

“Baseball has no clock, no ties, and no Liberal intrusions into the organized progression.” – George Will

“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.” — Yogi Berra

I’ll see you all in a couple of weeks.

PTG

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The Final Fore?

BarackatedThe Final Fore?

As Obama Fine-Tunes His NCAA Brackets, Russian State Television Is Showing Mushroom Clouds (Doug Ross @ Journal)

…And, as 80,000 Russian troops mass on the Ukrainian border, the “leader” of the once Free World inexplicably finds time to respond to his denim denigrators:

“I’ve been unfairly maligned about my jeans. The truth is, generally I look very sharp in jeans.” (Obama Actually Responds to Allegations That He Wears Mom Jeans)

Denimstrating Toughness

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I, Barack Obama

The Bumsteads

“What the president will be doing this weekend in Florida is essentially what the president would be doing back at the White House. It’s just that the weather will be a little warmer.” — Josh Earnest, Deputy Press Secretary

“I believe he can be as ineffective in Key Largo as he was in the White House.” – Newt Gingrich

Interesting, isn’t it, that although the situation between Russia and the Ukraine is grave enough to warrant the declaration of a “national emergency” …

“I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, find that the actions and policies of persons — including persons who have asserted governmental authority in the Crimean region without the authorization of the Government of Ukraine … constitute an unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States, and I hereby declare a national emergency to deal with that threat.”

…  no crisis or threat is ever serious enough to warrant interference with an Obama vacation plan — now that would be a true emergency.

While Russia beefed up its forces in Ukraine and the U.S. unemployment rate ticked up slightly, President Obama was criticized for spending the weekend on vacation with his family at an ultra-exclusive private community in the Florida Keys.

 Mr. Obama played two rounds of golf and luxuriated at the posh Ocean Reef Club in Key Largo, a solidly Republican enclave where members must have a minimum net worth of $35 million to join. The president, first lady Michelle Obama and their entourage traveled to and from the island in a squadron of five government helicopters, reportedly requiring a contingent of more than 50 Secret Service agents, before returning to Washington late Sunday. (As Crimea falls, Obama takes Key Largo golf vacation, Biden hits Virgin Islands)

It’s bad enough that the U.S. taxpayer is forced to subsidize the lifestyle of every layabout in the country — now we’re shelling out for the monthly luxury jaunts of the ones in the White House.  Well, all that cash formerly allocated for the national defense has to go somewhere

PTG

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The Obama Doctrine: Tweet Strongly And Send ‘Em A Selfie

The Reset

“It’s pointless to pay attention to foreign policy when a Democrat is president, unless you enjoy having your stomach in a knot.” – Ann Coulter

“I have taken note of America’s staggering geopolitical incompetence, and mocked the messianic pretensions of your media-anointed President Obama. And I chuckle when I think about how long it took for Americans to notice his obvious ineptitude.” – Vladimir Putin

“It seems this new perspective on our military is based upon the misguided progressive socialist vision of social egalitarianism.  I remember back during the Clinton administration when we received a new training edict … The mandate was called, ‘consideration of others’ training, which we affectionately called ‘coo.’ It mandated that platoon-sized units have 60-90 minute training sessions based upon vignettes that enabled the members of the unit to discuss their feelings.” – Allen West

“The test of policy is how it ends, not how it begins.” – Henry Kissinger

 With all the barbs slung at him by the media and the Washington political establishment, you’d almost think Vladimir Putin was a Republican.  It makes you wonder if Vladdy’s real offense is not his incursion into the Ukraine (which, after all, has never been one of Barack Obama’s 57 States), but in affixing his signature to the law prohibiting “non-traditional” (i.e. homosexual) propagandizing to minors in Russia. In the eyes of the international community of pederasts and the New York Times editorial board, this was the moral equivalent of drowning puppies and caning the elderly. The old Grey Lady ain’t what she used to be — and neither is the so-called “Free World.”

When Reagan was president, the expression pro-Western meant something. It meant pro-representative government, pro-human rights and pro-Western (Judeo-Christian) values. Today, it means a willingness to accept same-sex “marriage,” abortion on demand, an anti-religion ethos – the agenda of the EU’s cultural commissars — and the economic dictates of the Brussels bureaucracy.

 Putin doesn’t want to see the EU — and, possibly, NATO — on his doorstep. Do you blame him? If someone overthrew a democratically elected, pro-American government in Ottawa and replaced it with an interim regime hostile to our interests, that contained neo-Nazi elements and which immediately moved against English-speaking Canadians, it would irritate us too. It would, that is, if there was an American in the White House. (Putin Doesn’t Threaten Our National Security, Obama Does)

Henry Kissinger, the old diplomatic warhorse who’s forgotten more about foreign policy than Jackasses like Barack Obama and John Kerry ever knew, says this about the latest crisis:

The West must understand that, to Russia, Ukraine can never be just a foreign country … Ukraine has been part of Russia for centuries, and their histories were intertwined before then … The Black Sea Fleet — Russia’s means of projecting power in the Mediterranean — is based by long-term lease in Sevastopol, in Crimea. Even such famed dissidents as Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and Joseph Brodsky insisted that Ukraine was an integral part of Russian history and, indeed, of Russia. (A Must Read From An Elder Statesman – Common Sense On Ukraine)

But Democrats, as Ann Coulter points out, have an unblemished history of foreign policy disasters stretching back to the cosmetically revised saga of the Kennedy administration:

JFK: Seeing he was dealing with a naif, Khrushchev promptly sent missiles to Cuba … In exchange for Russia’s laughably empty threats about Cuba, JFK removed our missiles from Turkey — a major retreat.  As Khrushchev put it in his memoirs: “It would have been ridiculous for us to go to war over Cuba — for a country 12,000 miles away. For us, war was unthinkable. We ended up getting exactly what we’d wanted all along, security for Fidel Castro’s regime and American missiles removed from Turkey.”

LBJ: Kennedy’s successor, Lyndon Johnson, famously escalated the war in Vietnam simply to prove that the Democrats could be trusted with national security … LBJ’s incompetent handling of that war allowed liberals to spend the next half-century denouncing every use of American military force as “another Vietnam.”

Jimmy Carter: Carter warned Americans about their “inordinate fear of communism” and claimed to have been attacked by a giant swimming rabbit. His most inspired strategic move was to abandon the Shah of Iran, a loyal U.S. ally, which gave rise to the global Islamofascist movement we’re still dealing with today. [Ed. Note: Mr. Peanut also gave away the Panama Canal]

Slick Willy Clinton: Bill Clinton’s masterful handling of foreign policy was such a catastrophe that he had to deploy his national security adviser, Sandy Berger, to steal classified documents from the National Archives in 2003 to avoid their discovery by the 9/11 commission. Twice, when Clinton was president, Sudan had offered to turn over bin Laden to the U.S. But, unfortunately, these offers came in early 1996 when Clinton was busy ejaculating on White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

Barack Obama: Obama couldn’t be bothered with preserving America’s victory in Iraq. He was busy helping to topple a strong American ally in Egypt and a slavish American minion in Libya — in order to install the Muslim Brotherhood in those countries instead … Obama has become such an object for Putin’s amusement that the fastest way to get the Russians out of Crimea would be for Obama to call on Putin to invade Ukraine.

Obama, of course, has almost three more years in which to solidify his already disastrous missteps; and, when gay “rights” and “diversity” replace military preparedness as an integral part of your national security posture, catastrophe can’t be very far away. In the unforgiving arena of foreign affairs, strongly worded “tweets” and a stream of narcissistic “selfies” are no substitute for a big stick.

Old School

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When Has The Left EVER Been Right?

The Adviser

“America’s national security cannot be entrusted to left-wing Democrats.” -- Richard Winchester

“Weakness is policy, and the world’s dictatorships have taken note. The only question now is how much more damage can be done before this disastrous presidency finally comes to an end.” – The Commentator

“Russian troops are invading Ukraine and we have no response. I suppose the Pentagon has more important things to worry about – like hair and makeup for our gay military.” – Allen West

Pick a topic, any topic. Barack Obama and his “progressive” cohorts have been wrong about it.  Global warming? “Arab Spring”? Stimulus? Benghazi? Syria? The “reset” with Russia? Obamacare?  His is a braintrust that has achieved perfection — they’re always wrong.

Why a population of theoretically intelligent citizens continues to trust with their country’s future left-wing politicians who have proved themselves monumentally unqualified to govern is a question best answered by a qualified psychotherapist or two (if such things exist). “You Bet Your Life” should be remembered as a TV show from the ’50s, not a description of America in the second decade of the 21st century.   Even such a formerly staunch Democratic media ally as the Washington Post has come to realize an eternal truth:  Nations will always respect strength and take advantage of weakness.

FOR FIVE YEARS, President Obama has led a foreign policy based more on how he thinks the world should operate than on reality. It was a world in which “the tide of war is receding” and the United States could, without much risk, radically reduce the size of its armed forces … Unfortunately, Russian President Vladimir Putin has not received the memo on 21st-century behavior. Neither has China’s president, Xi Jinping … These men will not be deterred by the disapproval of their peers, the weight of world opinion or even disinvestment by Silicon Valley companies.

Nonetheless, the leftists who have commandeered the federal government are busy stripping our military down to a few bleached and transgendered bones:

Face of the Modern Military: Gay Troops Perform in Drag at Air Force Base

While Russia invades Ukraine, as Islamic terrorist factions plot the West’s destruction, our service members at Kadena Air Force Base in Okinawa, Japan, are being treated to a gay and lesbian drag show … Thanks to the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the military’s longstanding policy towards gays in the military, the military has seen an influx of gay marriage ceremonies and other events that celebrate the alternative lifestyle.

What Gutting The U.S. Military Means

[...] a combination of the Obama Administration’s policy decisions and budget cuts mandated by the Sequester — the idea for which originated in Obama’s White Housewould leave the U.S. military smaller and weaker than it has been in 74 years. The National Guard will also be reduced. Hagel went on to say that the U.S. would no longer be the world’s foremost military power. He also noted, apparently with equanimity, that reducing U.S. military capacity would likely entail risks to our military personnel and to the nation

 Once the budgetary savagery Hagel outlined for the military is in place, the U.S. will have a Navy with the fewest ships at sea since before World War I, the smallest Air Force ever, and an Army and Marine Corps smaller than at any time since 1940. Weapons systems that would modernize and upgrade our military capability will be canceled, and older weapons systems, such as the A-10, will be eliminated.

In addition to severely reducing America’s conventional military capability, Obama has drastically curtailed the country’s nuclear weapons capacity.

Rank ignorance or malice aforethought?  Allen West has no doubt which:

“Is Obama doing this intentionally? There can be no other answer than yes. Why? Because just like Bill Clinton, spending on domestic welfare nanny-state programs is more important to progressive socialists — after all, they want power, they need votes.”

Obama promised his supporters “fundamental transformation,” and he’s providing it.  Even Democrats will live to regret it.

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Ukraine: Back In The USSR?

Gary Locke caricature

“Americans no longer trust Obama, and for good reason. Worse, our enemies trust Obama — to do nothing … Our enemies realize now, the only real red line President Obama is willing to draw is through the words Competence and Action.” — Michael Ramirez

The results of having a feckless Marxist community organizer occupy the Oval Office for 6 years are becoming abundantly clear.  It’s as if, when surrounded by shrieking, war-painted hostiles, Tonto had convinced the Lone Ranger to “Just put down your pistols.  Let’s try and show ‘em we’re friendly.”  It never occurred to the guy in the mask that the loyalties of his “faithful” companion might lie elsewhere.  Likewise America — at least the half of it that considers the results of the latest TV talent show competitions more important than stopping the incremental dismantling of their nation by a cabal of leftists. Current events in the Ukraine are illustrative of the point:

“The Obama administration has responded, so far, in a manner that is pathetic even by its own standards. After issuing stern warnings to Russia not to invade Crimea, the administration, confronted with the actual presence of Russian troops on the ground, philosophized about whether it was really an invasion, suggesting that a more apt term might be an ‘uncontested arrival’

 President Obama himself, having delivered a limp warning to Vladimir Putin, decamped for a meeting of the Democratic National Committee, where he told a cheering crowd: ‘Well, it’s Friday, it’s after 5:00. So this is officially happy hour with the Democratic Party.

 It is not, of course, happy hour in Ukraine, or anywhere else where people are used to counting on American leadership. The man is simply unbelievable.” – John Hinderaker via Larwyn’s Linx

Heres To You KraineAs Iran develops nuclear weapons and Russia and Red China drastically increase their military spending, Barack Obama has decided to shrink United States forces back to pre-World War II levels. Vladimir Putin’s totem animal is still the bear and China’s remains the dragon but the American eagle, at least during the (hopefully) final years of the reign of Obama, should be replaced by the skunk.  Well, maybe not.  After all, no prudent polecat ever unilaterally cut back on his stink.

Michael Ramirez - Defense Cuts

skunk

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