The Perfect President

Mike Metroulas authored a piece on Big Government yesterday titled What Exactly Are The Qualifications For Being President? There seems to be only one–can enough suckers be bamboozled into actually voting for this rascal?  At any event, Mike’s article piqued my interest.  What, I wondered, would constitute the perfect modern President? Using 40 years of data, I have constructed the following composite.  This is the candidate Americans would most like to see in office–President Nobody:

  • An absent-minded, clumsy, whiny, oversexed, draft-dodging, conservative socialist cowboy with large teeth, good hair, and five o’clock shadow. A former aviator and submariner with no military experience, President Nobody is a Rhodes scholar and football playing community organizer who once acted for peanuts and never worked in the private sector. He is an upper class good old boy from the West Coast of Indonesia who grew up poor except for a silver spoon in his mouth. He is a secular, God-fearing, chain-smoking, happily married ex-drinker with an eye for the ladies and lust in his heart. He believes in free enterprise, wage and price controls, and redistribution of wealth.

Nobody is perfect! Nobody speaks for You! Nobody will tell the truth! Nobody keeps his promises!  Nobody will stop the spending! Nobody will protect and preserve the Constitution of the United States!



About Bob Mack

Retired since 2003. Military Service: U.S. Army, 36th Artillery Group, Babenhausen, Germany 1966-67; 1st Signal Brigade, Republic of Vietnam, 1967-68 Attended University of Miami, 1969-73
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18 Responses to The Perfect President

  1. samiam60 says:

    If you were a sketch artist you might have just nailed it on this post. Amazing what we Americans will settle for. A good speaker usually wins on personality and nothing more as we have just seen. God help us all if more of the American people don’t get involved and fight to preserve this Union. I know what I fought for lo those many years ago and I have to tell ya, this ain’t it.

  2. samiam60 says:

    By the way Bob. The snowflakes are nice but they freeze up the page. I had the same problem at my post.

  3. AFVET says:

    The last comment on your post is incorrect, and I quote: “Nobody will protect and preserve the Constitution of the United States.”
    I will, We the People will, and eventually the US will.
    Obama was smart, intelligent, a great speaker,…., yeah, vote for him !
    Hillary Clinton is educated and smart.
    Education is not to be mistaken for common sense.
    The idiots that put this fool in office, this ‘smart guy’ are now seeing the results of the folly of Barry the hoax Obama.
    Indoctrination is not the same as intelligence, or common sense.

  4. TexasFred says:

    The snowflakes were a distraction, to say the least…

    President Nobody… Damn, what a concept…

    • Bob Mack says:

      Nobody for President…an old horse from the 60’s that I decided to trot out again.

      From today’s e-mail:

      This coming year, both Groundhog Day & the State of the Union address occur on the same day. As an astute observer noted, It is an ironic juxtaposition of events; one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication while the other involves a groundhog.

      • oh, ha ha ha ha ha! that’s a funny one. my first kid’s due date was Groundhog Day, which of course terrified me. what if he came on the due date, saw his shadow, and tried to go back in again?!?

  5. fleeceme says:

    Excellent post! I have found my Fleece’s Fave for Sunday. =)

  6. Bob Mack says:

    Fleece, Robert, glad y’all have decided to support Nobody. Nobody deserves it, and Nobody will thank you for it.

  7. Ike Jakson says:


    I found your Post an amazing idea to find out how it happens that people get what they want and actually vote for it. Yeah America of the 57 States got their wish. But unfortunately it is now up to America of the 50 States to undo the damage. Good luck.

  8. My goodness I just hope enough Americans learned their lesson with this last President. I’m hopeful, but not convinced.

    Save us, Chris Christie!

  9. Foxwood says:

    Sieg Heil und Guten Morgan fellow unAmerican Nazis!
    It’s time to unfurl the Confederate Swastika and fire the cannon!

  10. Foxwood says:

    Good morning Co-Conspirator Bob!

    Natzi Palosi said we Teaparty people were un-American and flew swastikas, hence my greetings. Not meant to be offensive to any one.

  11. Pingback: Fleece’s Faves – MICLIC Edition « Fleece Me

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