It Only Hurts When You Laugh

I’ve always loved the comics.  When I was a kid, I remember hoofing a mile and a half in a snowstorm to get the paper at the old crossroads store so I could see what happened with Dick Tracy and Li’l Abner and Pogo that day.  As an adult (who presumably should have known better), I quit my steady job and ran off to study cartooning with some artists whose ink bottles I wasn’t fit to empty.  A year or so later, I went broke.  So it goes.  At any event, I’ve never lost my enthusiasm for America’s only truly native art form, or for the always original minds that produce it.

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The Ghost Of Thanksgiving Yet To Come (From the TexasFred blog)

This is one of those ‘gems’ that I find in my email box from time to time. A friend in East Texas knows I need material for the blog and he sent this one to me. Thank you Mike, you are a true inspiration!

“Winston, come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her husband.

“In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score”, he answered. Actually Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington.

Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its “unseemly violence” and the “bad example it sets for the rest of the world,” Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn’t nearly as exciting.

Yet it wasn’t the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn’t anything like real turkey.

And ever since the government officially changed the name of “Thanksgiving Day” to “A National Day of Atonement” in 2020, to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims’ historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster. Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold.

Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats—which were monitored and controlled by the electric company — be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter. […]

Read the rest at Texas Fred’s!

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About Bob Mack

Retired since 2003. Military Service: U.S. Army, 36th Artillery Group, Babenhausen, Germany 1966-67; 1st Signal Brigade, Republic of Vietnam, 1967-68 Attended University of Miami, 1969-73
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11 Responses to It Only Hurts When You Laugh

  1. fleeceme says:

    Hahaha, “Moby-Penis” classic!

  2. QE13… the whole thing is… just… too… real. I kept laughing and then realizing it wasn’t funny!

  3. Bob Mack says:

    Mornin’ FLEECE & MEGA. The laughs just keep on coming (no matter how much they hurt):

    Steve Kelley

  4. Ike Jakson says:

    Thanks Bob

    You know about my addiction to cartoons and now I know your story. And this is a lovely Post on the theme. I enjoyed the Twain one; someone else wrote an entire Post on the current nonsense and I have all Mark Twain’s work on an old CD Rom {you remember them?] including his short stories and some personal correspondence.

    Sorry I have been somewhat preoccupied with my eye problem and other things on my side, and I have been terribly upset about the Arizona affair; maybe, no I am sure, much more than I should be but it irritated me.

    This Post came just in time to lift my mood and I have just archived it so that I can read it at leisure off-line too as many times as I want to. Thanks for your visits to my humble little Blog too.

    Go well.

    • Bob Mack says:

      Old Sam Clemens is one of my favorites too. He loved his tobacco and his whiskey, and he could puncture pomposity as well as anybody who ever lived.

      • Ike Jakson says:

        Hi Mack

        Have you read ‘The jumping Frog of Calaveras County’?

        • Bob Mack says:

          I think I’ve read everything of Twain’s. Life On The Mississippi is one of my favorites. A quote from ol’ Sam:

          As I understand it, what you desire is information about ‘my first lie, and how I got out of it.’ I was born in 1835; I am well along, and my memory is not as good as it was. If you had asked about my first truth it would have been easier for me and kinder of you, for I remember that fairly well. I remember it as if it were last week. The family think it was the week before, but that is flattery and probably has a selfish project back of it.

  5. Pingback: Fleece’s Faves – Stratojet Edition « Fleece Me

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