Mayday, Mayday, Mayday

May Day The first day of May, an important holiday for Druids, communists, socialists, anarchists, overwrought teacher’s union members from Wisconsin, and ancient Roman hookers. The left-wing journal The Nation laments that “in failing to celebrate the holiday, U.S. workers are deprived of the spirit of solidarity they used to share with international workers.”  There’s that old communist ‘solidarity’ mating cry again. The Left, no doubt, would enjoy showing theirs by hanging a few thousand capitalists from convenient international Maypoles…

Mayday an emergency code word used as an international distress signal.  The call is customarily broadcast in triplets–“Mayday Mayday Mayday!!”–to prevent mistaking it for some similar-sounding phrase such as “payday”, though there haven’t been many of those in the United States recently.  The Mayday signal is heard most frequently on or about April 15, though panicked transmissions have become common since the election of Barack Obama to the Presidency in 2008.

Sam “Mayday” Malone is a former relief pitcher for the Red Sox baseball team and owner of the Cheers saloon on Beacon Street in Boston. Although Sam’s fame outside of New England is debatable, within the confines of his popular taproom, everybody knows his name: “A lot of people may not know this, but I happen to be quite famous.”  

Due to the anti-business and high-tax policies of the Obama regime, which has repeatedly accused American entrepreneurs of not paying their ‘fair share’ (said share and fairness to be determined exclusively by Barack Obama), Mayday Malone was forced to issue his own call to the bullpen. He has not been seen in the Boston area since the summer re-runs of 2010. Unconfirmed reports indicate he has joined the Palin4President team.