Well, praise the Lord and pass the Perrier. Under Barack Obama, the transformation of the U.S. Army into the equivalent of an Esalen Institute encounter group is proceeding at breakneck pace, from erzatz gazongas and pregnancy simulators to the color coded rabbit food that now takes the place of what used to be called chow back when we were scraping it off the sides of our greasy mess kits. LTC Sonya Cable, representing the Soldier Fueling Initiative formerly known as eating, likes to describe today’s troops as ‘soldier-athletes.’ With Michelle Obama’s Big Sur diet being forced down their throats—you know, the one she urges on everybody else while she scarfs up the cheeseburgers and the fries—they’re going to need all the contraband they can forage to become either.
[…] The nutrition education program alerts soldiers that “red” foods like bacon and apple pie should only be eaten rarely, with a warning: “limit intake.” Foods labeled green, however, such as mustard greens, are deemed “premium fuel for the soldier athlete,” “fresh and flavorful” and “nutrient dense.” Soldiers are advised to eat these frequently.
Back in my day, of course, we thought the Army should have put warning labels on all our chow; but I digress. LTC Cable, Chief of the Human Dimensions Division within the Initial Military Training Center of Excellence (whatever in God’s name that is, and why is there an entire division of it?), apparently believes the Spirit of the Bayonet (if such a thing still exists) can be better absorbed with a few portions of leafy greens, some low-fat yogurt, and a side of quiche. Whatever happened to good ol’ SOS—that’s ‘sh*t 0n the shingle’ a.k.a. chipped and assaulted creamed beef to all you non-vets. And just how does a dietician with a name like a James Bond girl get to be a lieutenant-colonel in the U.S. Army?
On the breakfast menu oven-fried bacon, sausage gravy, butter, sugary cereal and egg, sausage and cheese sandwiches earn a red label. Assorted low-fat yogurt, oven-fried Canadian bacon, broccoli quiche and cholesterol-free scrambled eggs are deemed “high performance” foods.
For lunch and dinner, soldiers are coaxed into choosing hamburger yakisoba over grilled cheeseburgers…
It’s been said that an army travels on its stomach. Thanks to the Obamas, ours doesn’t look like its going to get much further than the end of the block.