America’s Worst Lady has apparently — at least, for the time being — vacationed herself out. After 17 fun-filled extravaganzas to places like Vail, Rio, Africa, etc. etc. over the last 3 years (that’s more than 5 vacations per annum, for all you poor homebodies — not bad for someone who doesn’t even have a job), our real-life Minnie the Moocher has decided to hit the bricks on behalf of husband Barry’s re-coronation campaign, an increasingly hard sell when many of Mr. B’s once-loyal subjects can no longer afford the gas required to drive to the corner store, and even if they could, don’t have enough cash to buy much of anything once they get there. Nevertheless, the Mooch is telling all the “little people” that they should feel “blessed to have” His Lowness bollixing up their lives, and that they should give him four more years to continue doing so.
Meanwhile, apparently heeding America’s lemon laws, Obama’s campaign professionals have decided to recall 2008’s “Hope & Change” motto and replace it with “Forward”, a simple favorite of both national and international socialists, as well as with professionals whose job it is to prod cattle into position where they can be clocked with a bolt gun.
The C-I-C, though, has decided that his best chance of retaining his perks is to interminably remind everybody within listening range that it was he who got Osama bin Laden greased (though in the judgement of ye humble editor, it’s always safer ordering your surrogates to brave shot and shell than it is to actually brave them yourself — an opinion which certain current and former uniformed individuals seem to hold as well). But there’s not much else of which The Man Who Shot Osama bin Laden can boast. After all, it’s hard to run for re-election as The Man Who Bankrupted America.
See also: Obama’s one-hit wonder: I shot bin Laden