The Warren Report: Fauxcahontas Walks The Trail Of Jeers

For Elizabeth Warren — Harvard Law School progressive, self-proclaimed Cherokee maid, and Oklahoma house flipper — the path to Chappaquiddick Teddy’s old Senate seat has turned into a Trail of Jeers.  Even her Tribe has disowned her, despite the compelling evidence she has presented in support of her claim of membership:

…Warren was listed in the early 1990s as a minority professor at Harvard University, but the only proof Warren has of her claim of 1/32nd Cherokee blood is family stories about high cheek bones

To liberal kemosabes like Bernie Quigley, however, Fauxcahontas isn’t Right, so she can’t be wrong, even were her cheekbones somewhat less lofty. Mr. Q has penned what might be the single most cloying piece of exculpatory New Age pabulum since the heyday of the old San Francisco Oracle :

Elizabeth Warren might be excused for wanting to be Native American. She can claim an old American soul, going back generations in Oklahoma. In the heartland it is almost universal for those who have been there for a few generations to claim Indian blood; that is, to wish it were there even if it isn’t. It is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth; the fabric of old-soul American consciousness. “Our spirit will walk among you,” said Chief Joseph. Indeed it does.”

So the “old American soul” of Fauxcahontas isn’t really a lie, you see — it’s merely “personal mythology”, and thus quite acceptable to card-carrying Progressives and other idiots.  But the academic advantages Lizzie received by claiming it are not so ethereal, not in this era of unconstitutional “affirmative actions”:

A second law school, the University of Pennsylvania, has touted Elizabeth Warren as a minority faculty member in an official school publication, according to an online document obtained by the Globe.

… The reference offers another piece of evidence that Warren was identified as a Native American as part of her professional career. Warren has said she was unaware that Harvard University, her current employer, had described her as a Native American when it was under fire for a lack of diversity on its law school faculty.

On the other hand, Lizzie has demonstrated an intimate knowledge of Cherokee cookery, as evidenced by her contributions to 1984’s Pow Wow Chow cookbook … uh, wait a minute:

Two of the possibly plagiarized recipes, said in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook to have been passed down through generations of Oklahoma Native American members of the Cherokee tribe, are described in a New York Times News Service story as originating at Le Pavilion, a fabulously expensive French restaurant in Manhattan. The dishes were said to be particular favorites of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Cole Porter.

Well, you can’t make a genuine Cherokee Crab Omelette without breaking a few eggs. Isn’t it just possible that Lizzie belongs to that long-lost branch of Cherokees, rumored to still exist in the old Montmartre section of Paris along with a few octogenarian Apache dancers?  Of course, that effectively eliminates her “old American soul” as an excuse for serial prevarication, but it keeps open a possible seat as diversity chef on The Chew if the senatorial thing doesn’t work out.

See also: Elizabeth Warren’s punchline problem

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About Bob Mack

Retired since 2003. Military Service: U.S. Army, 36th Artillery Group, Babenhausen, Germany 1966-67; 1st Signal Brigade, Republic of Vietnam, 1967-68 Attended University of Miami, 1969-73
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20 Responses to The Warren Report: Fauxcahontas Walks The Trail Of Jeers

  1. bunkerville says:

    I think you will enjoy this link with vid in case you have not seen it- I cant copy it to post, but this little escapade is growing.

  2. roxannadanna says:

    aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! Outstanding Bob!
    This “woman” is such a liar. And God forbid she wins.

  3. Reblogged this on danmillerinpanama and commented:
    Chief Warren fits well with Commander in Chief Obama, Sweet Julia and other members of their colorful tribe of composites. May they have many comforting post election pow-wows as they commiserate about their losses.

    • Bob Mack says:

      Thanks, DAN. My feeling is, since everybody is basically a minority of one, all of us should all be able to claim affirmative action preferences. And if we’re all minorities, then no one is. We’re just [gulp] Americans.

  4. “It is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth”

    Oh, that Quigly is smooth! I gotta try me some of that acculturation.

  5. Bob says:

    Have you read the reader reviews of “Pow Wow Chow” at Amazon? They’re pretty funny!

    • Bob Mack says:

      BOB, it’s getting harder & harder to satirize these idiots. They’re so good at doing it themselves. This was the 5-star favorable review on Amazon:

      “I’ve received nothing but rave reviews from my colleagues after whipping up treats from this cookbook in the faculty lounge kitchen. Admirers of Pow Wow Chow may also enjoy Bow Wow Chow, a Indonesian-influenced cookbook from a former professor now in politics.”

      And the unfavorable one:

      “Overall this selection is lacking and has just a few good recipes inside. One for Humble Pie and another for Roasted Crow.”

      Some other classics:

      “Hey! I’m also a member of the tribe! I once flew a Piper Cherokee.”

      “Recently I became a full blooded American Indian after watching the movies ‘Last of the Mohicans’ and ‘Dances with Wolves.'”

      “I thoroughly enjoy the recipes here. My favorite one is called “Diversity Dish.” This was contributed by the world’s only confirmed blond-haired, blue-eyed Cherokee who used her tomahawk to dig this up from her Oklahoma archives. You start out with 10 quarts of sanctimony, add in a gallon of hypocrisy, throw in a few fables (I recommend the “Family Lore” brand available in Cambridge), add a pinch of whining (1/32 ounce will work), toss in a paleface poseur and a large measure of insufferability. No integrity required. And there you have it: political career implosion. Great for faculty lounge gatherings and unearned academic advancement.”

    • roxannadanna says:

      Oh those are too good! LOL

  6. Pingback: Be Sure You’re RIGHT, Then Go Ahead | Grumpy Opinions

  7. Bob Mack says:

    From The American Thinker: Grifters On Parade

    […] In comparison to Obama, Warren’s case is simplicity itself: she was claiming to be something she was not in order to ease her climb up the academic ladder. Warren asserted herself to be an American Indian, a Cherokee (as is usually the case with such assertions; few whites claim to be Sioux or Ute, and never Crow or Modoc), on grounds that have proven to be flimsy to illusory. Her case rests on a document that research by the Breibart sites has demonstrated to be nonexistent. At best, Warren can claim to be a laughably small proportion Indian (1/32 or even 1/64); at worst, she is exactly what she appears to be — a member of the WASP tribe putting on the war paint to fool her fellow palefaces.

  8. Very entertaining article, excellent writing style. From another comment above about Warren lying on the fly (Grandmother lived long enough to see her graduate from college), she seems to have taken a page from the HilLiary book of situational truth.

    • Bob Mack says:

      Thanks. I wrote it a while back, but nothing’s changed ‘cept ol’ Liz has grown kookier and louder over the years. She just doesn’t give out as many Cherokee war whoops as she used to since she’s been outed as a paleface.

  9. Steve Johnson says:

    Best nicknames so far for Warren:

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