The Stoned Ranger

Stoned Ranger

“When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” — Barack Obama

“I used to smoke marijuana. But I’ll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening — or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, mid-evening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-mid-afternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. …But never at dusk.”– Steve Martin

Afghanistan is lost, Iraq and Libya are in the middle of civil wars, Russia is carving off pieces of Ukraine and China is escalating its conflict with the rest of Asia. There isn’t a single element of Obama’s foreign policy that has proven successful. Instead it’s been one international disaster after another. Obama just smiles into the camera and announces that “America has rarely been stronger relative to the rest of the world.” Anyone who disagrees is engaging in partisan politics. Or reading statistics…

Obama’s speeches come from a world that exists only inside his own teleprompter. Another leader might have been reeling from a string of international failures, but he boldly triumphs over reality. The worse things are, the bigger the party he throws to celebrate his victories

I believe in American exceptionalism with every fiber of my being,’ Obama declared. ‘But what makes us exceptional is not our ability to flout international norms and the rule of law; it is our willingness to affirm them through our actions. Or as his nursery school teacher probably put it, You’re special. Just like everyone else. “(The Obama Undoctrine)

Only three scenarios make sense: 1) Obama is a domestic enemy of the United States (most certainly), 2) Obama is completely incompetent (extremely probable), or 3) Obama’s policies are formulated while he’s as stoned as an Iranian adulteress (let’s not rule that one out).  Of course, all three possibilities could be simultaneously operative — given the law of averages, an uninterrupted five year stretch of abject failure is not an easy thing to achieve.  You really have to work at it.

Elsewhere in the looney bin that currently passes for the U.S. government, Michelle Obama’s totalitarian school lunch program is under fire by both Republicans and the sullen urchins being forced to eat her mandated slop. But freedom is triumphing over svelteness — a million fewer students are participating in the lunch program than before Moochie and the federal health Nazis got their hands on it.

Totalitarian school lunchesMoochiePredictably, Democrats such as Nut Job Nancy Pelosi, the deposed speaker of the House, accused the GOP of failing to defend the health of mothers, children, and baby snail darters.  The Dems are all for healthy kiddies, you see, unless the waifs in question are still in the womb, in which case they’re fair game to be shot up with a saline solution and vacuumed into a medical waste bag.

Like Mrs. Obama’s “healthy lunch” program, Americans never voted for that either.

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About Bob Mack

Retired since 2003. Military Service: U.S. Army, 36th Artillery Group, Babenhausen, Germany 1966-67; 1st Signal Brigade, Republic of Vietnam, 1967-68 Attended University of Miami, 1969-73
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2 Responses to The Stoned Ranger

  1. Plain Jane says:

    You know what’s sad? Laughing at the circus that is D.C., and knowing we the people are roasting on the spit for the ruling class’s banquet.

  2. Pingback: Our President “The Stoned Ranger” from Bob Mack | Grumpy Opinions

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