Over Here??

over-there

Over there, over there,
Send the word, send the word over there
The Jihadis are coming, the Jihadis are coming
The drums rum-tumming everywhere.
So prepare, say a prayer [Allahu Akbar]
Send the word, send the word to beware –
We’ll be over, we’re coming over,
And we won’t come back till it’s over, over there…

“The Oxford Dictionary defines mutiny as ‘an open rebellion against the proper authorities.’ It is synonymous with ‘revolt and riot.’  For the last few decades George Soros and his Open Society Institute have organized and financed a seditious movement to destroy our Constitutional Republic and monetary system.” — Shari Goodman

“Democracy does not mean Democratic Party rule. That’s just the mistake that the media makes.” — Daniel Greenfield

“…how dare the Democrats try to tell me what are American values and what is un-American! Who died and made the Democrats the arbiters of what is un-American? I don’t need the Democrats to tell me what is un-American. I know it just fine, thank you very much.” The Insurrectionist Left

There’s no Yankee Doodle Dandy among today’s Democrats, on balance as unprincipled a group of seditious hacks as you’ll find outside of the faculty room of a modern American liberal arts college. And there’s certainly none tootling in the judge’s chambers at the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, where a trio of juridical poseurs have decided that they, not the duly elected Congress and President, have the authority to craft the law regarding immigration into the United States.

So it’s not just enforcing immigration laws that is “racist” today. Now, even the distinction between citizen and non-citizen has become “offensive.” … MSM enforcers, few of whom have ever read a book other than Harry Potter, cheered President Trump’s defeat in the courts as a defeat for the president they despise and are openly trying to unseat.  But their simplistic coverage concealed the staggering radicalism of the Ninth Circuit Court’s decision. The Court not only ignored presidential authority and existing statute law, it essentially rendered American citizenship meaningless. As Daniel Horowitz explains:

“The Ninth Circuit, although not ‘officially’ deciding the merits of the immigration case, indicated that there is a constitutional right for anyone to immigrate, even during a time of war, even from countries we were so careful never to take immigrants from until recently. It concluded the president must show the courts sufficient evidence that each person will be a terrorist and anything short of that creates a due process right to be here.”

…Nor are Muslims facing a dire, genocidal threat in the Middle East because of their religious belief. The people who are actually being systematically exterminated in Iraq, Syria and other Middle Eastern countries are Christians—many of whom were prevented from fleeing to America by President Obama   … From the lowest Antifa guttersnipe to the most dignified jurist, from the foul-mouthed celebrity to the congressmen of the Democratic Party, the American Left is utterly united around the principle of European-American dispossession. In their view, America is a “proposition nation,” but the new proposition is even worse than that expressed in Emma Lazarus’s insipid poem: it is that the country belongs to everyone except the historic American nation that created it. (“So-Called Judges” Try To Mandate American Dispossession. Resist Or Die!)

***

After President Donald Trump signed an order stopping foreigners from entering America, there was general outcry from liberals. This was expected. What happened next was expected too: the left ran to court seeking a like-minded traveler to enact their preference. They found him and, a few days later, a federal judge in Washington state decided that he would set national policy on foreigners entering America. He suspended the lawful action of the executive branch and imposed his own policy preference. His ruling, by his design, has national impact. At the least, the judge’s decree was overbroad; at worst, it was extra-constitutional … Today, the federal courts, filled with too many Black Robed Oligarchs, are completely out of control. They uphold Obamacare on made-up grounds; they make up definitions of life and marriage; and they decide what foreign policy they prefer. (Trump Already Draining the Judicial Swamps)

There’s nothing democratic about modern Democrats. Ousted from power by the people they pretended to represent, progressives “are resisting the will of the people who democratically elected President Trump. They are forming their own shadow government with the financial backing of George Soros and the leadership of Obama (who took the unusual step of staying in D.C. and has his own mass organization, OFA, Organizing for Action) and Hillary Clinton.” (A George Soros-Led Mutiny)

Former President Obama failed at transforming America, but did succeed at transforming the Democratic Party. That is why we are witnessing an unprecedented all-out war against the new president …  So where did all these agitators come from? From the moment he entered the Oval Office, Obama staffed up a left-wing DOJ, EPA and Department of Education, and began to target blacks, conservationists, and millennials with his left-wing, divisive messages. Enormous sums of money were lavished on radical groups and agendas … Obama handed his famous state of the art election campaign – the data, the staff, the fundraising – to Organizing for Action, not to the Democratic Party. Eight years later, the Democratic Party is decimated at every level of government. And they are being overrun by professional agitators.

“According to Hans von Spakowsky and Christian Adams, two attorneys who previously worked in the Civil Rights Division …every single one of the hundreds of lawyers hired during the Obama Administration—every single one—was a left-wing activist.” (Obama Fundamentally Transformed America the Democrats)

This is the textbook definition of sedition, folks. At least it was prior to its re-definement by Common Core promulgators.  And, if there’s to be any hope of preserving what’s left of the American Republic, the difference between legitimate protest and seditious riot needs to be made crystal clear by both local and national authorities.

Many Americans are fed up and are asking why the Seditious Conspiracy law, which was first enacted during the Civil War, is no longer applied. It was first used by our federal government to criminalize plots to levy war against the United States by Confederate sympathizers, and it successfully ended their acts of aggression and riots. Though this law is still in existence it is rarely used, but as the threat to our democracy increases from a lawless segment of our population and from an organized seditious plot to overthrow our form of government, many are seeking its application.

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Posted in Current Events, Democrats, Judicial Tyranny, None Dare Call It Sedition, Opinion, Progressives | Leave a comment

The Late-Knights vs The Orange-Haired Ogre

late-night-derangement

colbert

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kimmel

“Trump has already driven journalists crazy. Now he’s driving comedians crazy as well.” — S. Robert Lichter

Nothing makes me long for the vanished era of Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon more than a late evening or two spent viewing the current crop of metrosexual network talk show hosts, all of whom suffer in larger or smaller degree from the malady known as Trump Derangement Syndrome.  21st century late-night has eschewed the type of political humor that used to put you to sleep gently and with a smile on your face in favor of blunt force badinage designed to bring down the orange-haired ogre that they all love to hate.  This is the kind of thing, along with adolescent fart jokes, that seems to go over well with the late-night base, an aggregate audience of arugula chewing millennials who live with their parents, voted for Hillary, and don’t have to get up and go to work in the morning.

…commentators and comedians have [Trump] and his policies in their sights. Among them are the always reliable liberal late-night hosts … [Stephen] Colbert’s (ed. note: pronounced Col-bear, in the foppish manner of the French, rather than the all-American Cole-bert) CBS program has somehow managed to become more biased and more left-leaning than his previous Comedy Central show … Though Colbert promised before debuting as the “Late Show” host that he would be less political — he’s been the most Trump-obsessed of all the late-night hosts … Colbert may be leading the charge for late-night comedians to work nearly all of their material around Trump, but he’s certainly not alone. There’s Seth Meyers, who recently got nice and cuddly with CNN’s Jake Tapper as the two droned on about Trump’s treatment of a CNN reporter at his recent press conference. There’s Jimmy Fallon, who took his Trump routine all the way to the Golden Globes … The treatment of Trump — Colbert suggesting he’s going to kill people is the tip of the iceberg — is in stark contrast to the treatment of the outgoing President Obama. Obama was able to “slow jam” the news with Jimmy Fallon and read “mean tweets” while ignoring his duties as president. (Late-Night Knives Are Out for Trump)

Lord only knows how many viewers the constant Trump bashing has driven away, though rumor has it that midnight ratings for re-runs of “My Mother The Car” have inexplicably spiked.  And as professionals, the late-night hosts seem to be ignoring the comedic gold mine that is the Democrats.  After all, a party that features laugh riots like Maxine Waters (“…the fact that [Trump] is wrapping his arms around Putin while Putin is continuing to advance into Korea…” uh, that’s Crimea, Max), Sheila Jackson-Lee (“Homicide is the leading cause of murder.”), and Cryin’ Chuckie Schumer would seem to be tailor-made for any competent comic.

**CARTOON UPDATE: Can’t forget that lovable pompadoured Irish goofball…**

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Posted in 2016 Election, Cartoons, Current Events, Democrats, Donald Trump, Hooray For Hollyweird, Late-Night Trump Bashing, Liberals, Opinion, Politics | 5 Comments

The Left is insane, incoherent and incompatible with liberty

The Daley Gator

The Left has been losing elections on state levels since 2012. Largely because their big government, big taxes approach to governance has been deemed unacceptable by most American voters. In 2016, the Left was convinced it would elect Hillary Clinton, after all it was “her turn”, and take back control of the United States Senate. They were ecstatic, thinking that the “social justice” work of President Obama would roll on. But then, something happened. Tens of millions of Americans said, in a very clear voice, enough is enough! Hillary went down to defeat, the Senate stayed Republican, and a president was elected that does not shy away from a fight. The Left started to go Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but then, President Trump took office and they dove headlong into the Pit of Batshit Crazy. Then, it got really scary for the Left. The new president started keeping his campaign…

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Demented: The Dems Have Flown Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

cry-him-a-river

no-brain-trust

“We have a seditious Democratic Party that is destroying the American electoral system.”– David Horowitz

“The Democrats right now, they are in a state of denial, and a state of rage. They cannot believe this election result and they’re angry at the American people.” — Sen. Ted Cruz

“In America these days, all you need to become a Nazi is to disagree with the totalitarian left.  And then you’d better duck, because sooner or later someone will try to hit you—in the name of tolerance, naturally. I suspect that it won’t be long before the only requirement for being a “Nazi” is white skin.” — Jim Goad

pelosiIn order to properly deal with the modern Democrat Party and their hysterical allies (many of whom seem to be bordering on outright homicidal mania), you’d need a few hundred FBI agents experienced in the investigation of subversives, a team of psychiatrists, and a battalion of orderlies standing by with strait-jackets.  The Democrats have become an anti-American minority party desperately in need of mass sedation and lengthy incarcerations. Triggered by the election of Donald Trump and the rejection of creeping Marxism by the American voter, they’ve undergone a full-blown psychotic break.  From the halls of the U.S. Congress to the shores of Hollyweird, progressive Democrats are exhibiting behavior that proves they’re a danger to themselves and others.  They’re going to need years of professional treatment before it’s safe to allow them to reenter society.

rememberAmericans are more divided morally, ideologically and politically today than they were during the Civil War…There are those on both the left and right who call for American unity. But these calls are either naive or disingenuous. Unity was possible between the right and liberals, but not between the right and the left. Liberalism — which was anti-left, pro-American and deeply committed to the Judeo-Christian foundations of America; and which regarded the melting pot as the American ideal, fought for free speech for its opponents, regarded Western civilization as the greatest moral and artistic human achievement and viewed the celebration of racial identity as racism — is now affirmed almost exclusively on the right and among a handful of people who don’t call themselves conservative. The left, however, is opposed to every one of those core principles of liberalism … With the defeat of the left in the last presidential election, the defeat of the left in two-thirds of the gubernatorial elections and the defeat of the left in a majority of House and Senate elections, this is likely the last chance liberals, conservatives and the right have to defeat the American left. But it will not happen until these groups understand that we are fighting for the survival of America no less than the Union troops were in the First Civil War. Dennis Prager

dirty-harry-vs-cair

Not only do Republican states continue to outnumber Democratic states, but every single shift in party affiliation over the year has benefited the GOP. According to Gallup U.S. Daily, 21 states are now classified as solid or leaning Republican, 14 are solid or leaning Democratic and 15 states are competitive. That represents a monumental shift from a 30-state advantage for the Democrats in 2008 to a 7-state advantage for Republicans. (Gallup: Party Affiliation in U.S. Continues to Shift Toward Republicans)

The Democratic Party has been in decline for a number of election cycles. The verdict on the Democrats’ strategy of synchronized hysteria will be rendered in November 2018. My guess is that after two years, most voters will have seen enough of the Democrats’ vileness. Watch for the Democrats to slide nearer to irrelevance in 22 months. (Can Insanity Succeed?)

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Posted in 2016 Election, Cartoons, Current Events, Democrats, Liberals, Opinion, Politics, Progressives, Trump Derangement Syndrome | Leave a comment

A Rubber Room With A ‘View’

“It is very hard and very expensive to raise children. They’re snorting up the oxygen.” — Joy Behar

“I knew I wasn’t stupid, and I knew I wasn’t dumb. My mother told me that.” — Whoopi Goldberg

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Waterboarding be damned. If Donald Trump is serious about re-instituting enhanced interrogation, all he needs do is lock the bad guys in a cell with Joyless and the Whoopster for a half-hour.  That’s enough to get anybody to talk.

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Posted in Cartoons, Hooray For Hollyweird, Liberals, Opinion, The View, Trump Derangement Syndrome | 1 Comment

The Nasty Girls

code-pinko

“A  women’s march organized by a pro-Sharia woman is like a Million Chickens March led by Colonel Sanders” — Larry Elder

“Clowns are the pegs on which the circus is hung.” — P. T. Barnum

Only in America would a disgruntled bevy of strident and vulgar females dressed as giant pink vaginas march into the nation’s capitol, their numbskulls stuffed into “pussy” hats, and expect to be taken seriously by anyone other than the Democrats and the mainstream media.  Saturday’s exhibition of mass distaff mental instability  wasn’t a protest as much as it was a chaos of narcissistic and insufferable liberal idiots, flim-flammed into existence by, among  others, a hijab-wearing Muslim harpy:

sarsourDespite the sea of pink p**sy caps seen on worldwide streets during the Big Women’s’ March yesterday, the pink cap was not the real symbol of the march—the Muslim veil was. The Muslim veil and a hijab made out of the highly revered American flag were the real symbols of the day. There was one march organizer far more worrisome than Mama Michael Moore, the blow-the-White-House-up wishing, F-bomb spewing Madonna, or any of the other screaming meemies out on the streets, who, in the grander scheme of things,  were only the bit players. Veil wearing Linda Sarsour, who has ties to terrorist organization Hamas and who openly advocates for Sharia Law in America,  was well hidden by the mainstream media, who kept bit players like Moore in the spotlight. For all of their noise, for all of the sea of pink p**sy caps, the 2-million strong worldwide march was never really about getting even with the 62 million who voted in Donald J. Trump as president, even though some of the naive protesters may have been totally unaware of it, it was about bringing Islam into the power of the White House. Sarsour, who has provable ties to the terrorist organization Hamas, wants to bring America under the strictures of Sharia law and wants President Trump replaced by Democratic National Committee chair, Rep. Keith Ellison. Mama Moore, Rosie O’Donnell, Madonna, Ashley Judd, Jane Fonda et al are merely her foot-soldiers. (The Muslim Veil, not pink p**sy cap was the real symbol behind Big Women’s March)

nasty-women

As theater, the Harpy’s March was just as entertaining as an evening of pro wrestling, with the recently inaugurated Donald playing the part of the “heel“, and B-list celebrities like Madonna and Ashley Judd the heroic, if wildly frothing, “faces“.  A morally superior good time was had by all the giant pink vaginas. But, alas, not all was as innocently loopy as it seemed, as the picture below indicates.

Organizer For DC Women’s March Against Trump Pictured Flashing the ISIS Sign

sarsour-isis

And for the Nastiest Woman of ’em all — I believe we have a winner.

Posted in Current Events, Hooray For Hollyweird, Islam, Linda Sarsour, Mainstream Media, News, Opinion, Progressives, Women's March | 3 Comments

From Here To Senility: The Epidemic Of Trump Derangement Syndrome

trump-derangement

trump-psychosis

Posted in 2016 Election, Cartoons, Current Events, Democrats, Hooray For Hollyweird, Liberals, Opinion, Progressives, Trump Derangement Syndrome | 1 Comment

Tinsel Town Rebels

streepie-helps-out

“Hollywood: It has become so left-wing that it has fallen off the map and into the Pacific Ocean.” — James Arlandson

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Streep2.jpg

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toes

billy-bob

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Did you know that in Tinsel Town the people there
Think substance is a bore … It’s the Tinsel Town Rebellion
From downtown Hollywood — Frank Zappa

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Posted in Cartoons, Current Events, Hooray For Hollyweird, Opinion, Phoney Baloneys, Progressives | 2 Comments

Thimblerigging The Donald

branco

“[Donald Trump] called the Washington furor over Russian hacking a “witch hunt” when it is actually far more sinister and dangerous. Witch hunts end. The Washington mob aims to make sure the election never ends and that Trump can never govern.”  — Michael Goodwin

“…note the red herring. Whereas the real story is the content of the emails, the misdirect is how Wikileaks got them.” — Herschel Smith

With Friday’s endlessly hyped joint intelligence report facing skepticism over a complete lack of evidence to back up Obama regime claims, yet another change has been made to the story that is being used by Obama, Hillary and their allies to discredit the incoming Trump administration in the eyes of the American public … It is important to remember that according to documents leaked by former government contractor Edward Snowden that the Brits regularly worked with the NSA Stasi to circumvent constitutional restrictions and in this case, to provide cover for the official conspiracy theory on why Mrs. Clinton lost the election.  (Russian Hack Story Continues to Change)

fakesThe thimbleriggers of the Trumpiphobic, permanently demented Left are still at it (Thimblerig:  1.  A swindling trick in which a small ball or pea is quickly shifted from under one to another of three small cups to fool the spectator guessing its location. 2. One who manipulates the cup in thimblerig: thimblerigger — Merriam-Webster).  The charge: Vladimir Putin and his evil cyber-hackers interfered in our election, thus causing Hillary Clinton to bungle the presidency, and the Democrats to shed even more seats in the House, the Senate, the nation’s statehouses and its governor’s mansions.  Well, excuse me, but if exposing the cesspool in which Crooked Hillary and the Jackasses routinely swam laps was interference, instead of slapping ol’ Vladdy with sanctions, we ought to be sending him a Thank You note. Of course, no one has yet to see any hard evidence which proves the Russkies were behind the Wikileaks, and it sure wasn’t Putin who blithely slandered half of the citizens of America as “deplorables”. Still, if you’re nonetheless willing to take the word of known thimbleriggers like Barack Obama, CIA head John Brennan, or NSA chief James Clapper that Grizzly Steppe done did it, then you might be interested in buying an almost-new bridge in Brooklyn.

The Obama administration is retaliating against Russia for hacking into Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s email account. It would have been much better if the administration had reacted when Russia hacked into the White House’s and State Department’s computers in 2014, but, as Glenn Reynolds says, at that time only national security was at stake, while now, it’s something really important: the Democratic Party’s power. (“Grizzly Steppe”: Is This a Joke?)

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Posted in 2016 Election, Current Events, Democrats, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Liberals, Mainstream Media, News, Obama, Opinion, Politics, Progressives | 3 Comments

The Midnight Ride of the South China Sea Surfing Association

midnight-ride-of-the-scssa

“North Vietnam cannot defeat the United States. Only Americans can do that.” — Richard Nixon

**The following took place during my long-ago sojourn in the Vietnam War.  The names of my colleagues have been changed, not to protect the innocent — none of us were that — but because after almost 50 years, I can’t remember the real ones.  But I can see the faces that went with them, as clearly as if I’d seen them just yesterday. Dialog has been reconstructed.**

We weren’t surfers, of course.  The association was a loosely knit menagerie of Signal Corps misfits and an infantry grunt who’d been temporarily reassigned to our theoretically safe and secure locale while healing up from a minor combat injury incurred out in the Bad Bush.  But the name sounded cool, and the South China Sea was close by.  So that’s what we called ourselves.  Hang 10, baby.

Associates had no boogie boards, but we always had reefer and warm beer in the bunkers. And we had rats, red-eyed varmints infested with plague fleas. They lived behind the sandbags and weren’t scared of anything except incoming. Sometimes we had boom-boom girls.  They were warm too, but not as warm as the beer.  The local Viet Cong constabulary was holed up in the nearby mountains, not doing much of anything usually, and when the boredom grew intolerable, they’d fire a few rounds at us for entertainment, haring off before the counter-mortar batteries could get a decent fix on their position.  It was about as idyllic as Vietnam was ever going to get.  It wouldn’t last, of course. Charlie had his lifers, same as us, and the big brass on either side is never happy unless they’re hurling their underlings at somebody’s throat.  Unfortunately, this time one of those throats belonged to me.

***

“C’mon, man. I really want ya to go.”

“Are you crazy? You guys got shot at as soon as you left the gate yesterday.”

“Yeah, but nobody got hit. C’mon. Volunteer. Don’t make me order ya.  The other guys are goin’. It’ll be fun. The midnight ride of the South China Sea Surfers. We’ll cruise in, pick that fat bastard up, and di di mau back here. Easy, peasey.”

“Stan, the damn city’s still full of gooks!”

“Hey, I got yer back. Ya don’t wanna live forever, do ya?”

“That’s exactly what I wanna do! I thought you was my buddy!”

“I got my orders, dipshit. I gotta go get the sergeant-major outta his billet, and I ain’t goin’ into town with a bunch of friggin’ damn FNG’s who I don’t know when there’s live Charlies running ’round.  Now, you gonna volunteer for this here detail or not?”

“Aw, fer Christ’s sake, Stan.”

“That’s Sergeant Stan, Spec 4 Mack.”

“Okay, okay. I’m in. But you get me killed, and I’m gonna haunt yer sorry ass. You happy now, you persuasive prick?”

“As a clam.  Grab yer gear an’ fall in by the Orderly Room. I’ll pick ya up there in 15 minutes.”

It was the third night of the Tet Offensive.

***

72 hours. After that, you shouldn’t be trusted with a cap gun, let alone a military assault rifle. I was closing on 72. We all were. Sleep deprivation is as dangerous as any other enemy.  It’s probably why Giacomo dropped his weapon when he stepped on the dead gook.

“What the f**k, Jack!”

“Sorry, man. Scared the sh*t outta me. Ya smell that? Jesus, this f**ker’s gettin’ ripe!”

At midnight on January 30th, the Lunar New Year had begun in Vietnam with fireworks and traditional prayers to the Jade Emperor and his heavenly cohorts for 12 ensuing months of peace, love, and universal concord. Mortars and rockets started arriving in camp shortly thereafter. Enemy sappers hit the compounds along the beach road, and by mid-morning, half the city was under the less than merciful administration of the North Vietnamese Army and its political action executioners.  We spent the day preparing for a ground assault that we were informed would be starting sometime after dark.  It never materialized.  This was due primarily to some spirited work by troopers of the Korean White Horse Division, and command and control incompetence from one of the NVA support units, which never arrived on site.  In the morning, the ROKs flushed a few forlorn infiltrators from the refugee shacks on the far side of the wire. Grinned happily, and beat the wounded one to death with sandbags.  Xin lỗi, asshole — sorry ’bout that.  Some of the F**kin’ New Guys were growing a bit anxious: “Is it always like this?”  “Don’t worry ’bout it, rook. You get used to it.” Salty old liars, that’s what we were in the Surfing Association. I was the member with the lowest seniority, and I’d been in-country for six months. Sergeant Stanley was in the midst of his third tour. F**k the FNGs if they couldn’t take a joke.

“Two mags apiece,” Stan said. “Just in case. Gilley’s carrying the thumper.” Gilley was TDY’d from the 196th Light Infantry Brigade, and the thumper was an M-79 grenade launcher.  We all wore flak jackets. Stan had a pair of frags on his. “In an’ out, boys. In an’ out. An’ remember: don’t shoot yerselves.”  Signal Corps commandos and an out-of-work grunt. We piled into the jeep.

***

Rumbling through silent streets as dark and empty as the black heart of an army recruiter. Even the Lambretta drivers were staying indoors. Sporadic chatter from faraway automatic weapons and the random thump of mortars. The pop of an illumination flare. Eerie, flickering shadows dancing malignantly over dusty areca palms and old French villas.

“This is some crazy sh*t,” says Booker.  “We oughta let Charlie have that fat f**k.  Nobody’d miss his dumb ass.”

Sergeant-Major Hodge.  Career soldier, a lifer playing out the string.  As past his prime as a quartermaster pork chop. Billeted in what passed for a hotel in what passed for a city in what passed for a country.  RHIP. Rank has its privileges.  But old Hodge had been trapped like any other no-account bunker rat when the NVA overran his neighborhood, and the Surfing Association had grudgingly left the relative safety of its tents to try and bring him back.  Well, if Hodge was depending on amateurs like us for his liberation, he was in some deep sh*t.

Giacomo’s first out of the jeep.  He rounds the corner and steps on the corpse. Weapon clatters to the ground.

“What the f**k, Jack!”

“Sorry, man. Scared the shit outta me.”

Stan hisses: “Keep it down, you sorry bastards!”

My heart’s trying to claw its way out of my chest. Jack Como, you slippery fingered friggin’ idiot, I’m gettin’ too old for this sh*t!  (I’m only 19, but we’re always too old for this sh*t).

A pair of jumpy MPs are stationed in front of the hotel. “We’re here to get Sergeant-Major Hodge,” Stan tells them. “Everything quiet?”

“For now. You guys be careful drivin’ back.  This area ain’t been fully cleared.”

Hodge’s door is unlocked. We knock once and barge in.  The room stinks of body odor, whiskey, and stale smoke.  The usual. He has an air conditioner, RHIP, but the power’s been gone for two days, and it’s stifling. A Coleman gas lantern is burning on an end table. Hodge is passed out, big whale belly rising and falling gently over his skivvies, sickly yellow in the feeble glow. Outside, the automatic weapons have started up again, but they’re not close.

“Lookit that,” says Booker.  “He’s drunk as a damn skunk.”

“Sit him up,” Stan orders. “Let’s get him dressed an’ get the f**k outta here.”

Resuscitation proves difficult but not impossible.  We get Hodge propped up, and eventually both of his bloodshot eyes stay open.

“Wha’ urr you men doin’ in my room?” Heavy slur, and breath that could deep fry an egg.

“We’re takin’ ya back to base, Sergeant-Major.  It ain’t safe here no more.”

“Boo’ shit. Not goin’ t’camp ri’ now. Haf a drink.”

Gilley looks nervously out the window. “Man,” he whispers, “if he don’t get his ass movin’, I’ll shoot him myself!”

“There’s gooks all over the place, Sarge,” Stan informs him gently.  “The city’s been overrun. We got orders to bring ya in.”

“Goos? Wha’ goos? Ish s’cure area.”

“He don’t even know we been hit,” says Booker incredulously. “F**kin’ lifers!”

“I vote to leave him here,” I say.

“He’p me get his pants on, Book,” Stan says. “C’mon, Sergeant-Major. I ain’t f**kin’ around no more. We gotta go.”

It’s like forcing two pounds of bratwurst into a one pound casing (I knew about such things — I’d served a year in Germany with Vee Corps artillery before volunteering for the Nam). Giacomo is checking out the Sergeant-Major’s stash. He’s jealous. Our ration cards only allot for beer and cigarettes, and the closest Class VI store is on the air base.  “How come the lifers get to buy whiskey and we don’t?”

“‘Cause lifers don’t do sh*t but get drunk,” I tell him.

We get the Sergeant-Major on his feet. He sways like he’s being buffeted by a monsoon wind. “You boysh err takin’ care uh yer ol’ sarge, ain’t cha?”

“Man, I’d like ta throw him to th’ dogs,” says Gilley.

***

In June, the battalion holds an awards ceremony.  Our battalion commander is given the Legion of Merit for exceptionally meritorious achievement during the Tet campaign (when he’d been in Australia on R&R). This is the first and last time I’d ever see him in person. Sergeant-Major Hodge receives the decoration too.  The rest of us are issued certificates of merit signed by the Commanding General of the 1st Signal Brigade. Afterwards, the South China Sea Surfing Association effectively disbands. Stan had extended again, and transfers to Saigon.  Gilley goes back to the 196th. The whites of Booker’s eyes turn yellow one day. He trudges off to the medical tent and is sent to a hospital in Japan. Giacomo becomes a doorgunner. His helicopter disappears during an operation in the A Shau Valley. He is listed as missing in action. I extend for an early discharge upon rotation back to the World. In October, I get my port call. My tour of duty is over. I’m going home.

Posted in 1968 Tet Offensive, Opinion, Vietnam War | 4 Comments